Having baby is a big deal and a game change of your life. As mentioned in my previous post about becoming a mother, Baby E was not planned and it did made my husband and me having a lot of argument along the way and did not getting any better until lately. To avoid both your partner and you having any argument after child birth or even during pregnancy, do consider the below consequences.
1. Financially Ready
This is important. If you do not plan to giving birth at a government hospital, this will be even much more important.
I delivered at a private hospital and I am going to give you a rough breakdown cost on just checking up. Each check up will cost you about RM 150- RM 300 (at least). You will be visiting the doctor’s office once a month and by weekly when you hit 7 months. You can do the math by this.
You will be advise to do a down syndrome test which cost you RM700 for the basic one and the advance one will take about RM 2000.
Delivery will cost about RM 8000 – RM 12000 depends on how smooth is your delivery and it is a C-section or natural delivery. Remember some delivery can be complicated.
Epidural will cost you about RM 1000 or lesser or more. Depends on the hospital of your choice.
After child birth, in the first 3 months your child will visit the doctor quite often, might be due to rashes, fever, cough, flu or other illness because your baby anti body is still weak. Each visit to the child specialist will be range from RM 50 – RM 200.
2. Emotionally Ready
During pregnancy can be really stressful especially if your baby is having some issue inside you. Well, you never know. You might to keep count on baby’s movement for some reason or need to visit the doctor’s office more often. Bleeding or water leakage, everything is possible.
After labor will be the non stop crying and guessing what your little one needs. Not easy, it took me a month to get used to it. Also if your partner is very dependent on you, you might need to take on the role as a mother and the wife. If you will be a working mother, this will be even more critical.
3. Career Path
Are you an employee or an employer? Speak to your boss if you are an employee because trust me you will not be 100% focusing on your work anymore. Is not easy and if you have a very short maternity leave like me which is only 2 months will be even more difficult. You might need to take a lot of time off to send your baby to the doctor’s office or when your nanny is busy.
As an employer, lucky you! You will have more flexible time but try not to plan any business expansion until your child is at least 1 year old. Is not easy, really.
4. Be Socially Isolated
You will want to spend as much time with your baby as possible. You might ended up giving up your social life, your friends just to focus on your baby. Your me time will be very limited.
5. Understands Ignorance is Bliss
After having a child, you will need to deal with your in laws more often than usual. Is their grandchild anyway, they will want to visit them from time to time. They method of bringing up a child might not be what you expect and you will start to see the different. If is little thing, try to smile and ignore. otherwise, don’t be angry and start screaming. Speak to your partner.
6. Be a Smart Talker
Again, when you need to talk to your partner about your in laws. Speak as if you are in his shoes. In a nice way with reasons. You are a mother now, you don’t want to be treated badly when you have a daughter in law. Stay rational.
7. Be very Independent
At sometime, you might need to face your baby all by yourself. For example, when your partner is busy. You will need to bath your child, feed your child, entertain your child and put your baby to sleep all by yourself.
Be ready and do not breakdown in front of your baby. never leave a baby crying for too long. It is bad for your baby health and also will affect your baby emotionally.
8. Be Ready to say “It’s okay” when your child prefer others more than you
If your parents/ in laws/ nanny is the one who is taking care of your baby on weekdays and you only take over on weekend, you might face a problem when your baby is not used to you especially at night. Is normal, and it’s okay. When they grow up, you will always be the one they go to.
9. Physically/ Health Ready
Be healthy. Stay away from your usual caffein break and cigarette break if you are a smoker. Those habits will harm your baby and you don’t want it to happen. Stay away from sugary products to avoid diabetes.
10. Be ready to face a short-term Depression
Hormones will do the trick. You might think it will never happen on you but trust me it very likely will. I am not saying you are a negative person or anything like this. Is hormones, they are the bad guys. If it really happens, stay cheerful and stay happy. Kick the negative thoughts away!