Babies and Kids,  Real Life Experience

Becoming a Mother: I almost killed my baby

I have shared my experience to many people and I would like to share this again because it is just an amazing journey!

When We Found Out

We never expect to have a baby this soon. It wasn’t plan at all. I realised I was pregnant and we went to the gynaecologist on the next day. After consulting the gynaecologist, I am confirmed with 2 weeks pregnancy. It was a surprise and both my husband and I weren’t ready at all yet we decided to keep the baby and we never regret it.

During Pregnancy

Everything seems normal during my checkup until on my 7th month. There was this one day I realised baby movement has slowed down. I rushed to the hospital and I was informed that the umbilical cord is around Baby E’s neck. The doctor did asked if I would consider a C-section as it might be dangerous. At that moment I have decided to go for a C-section but if contraction comes earlier I would try on natural. It was a terrifying news, I started to monitor his movement everyday and getting really stressed up about it.

I rushed to the hospital a few times when I thought his movement slow down but it was all okay. Perhaps, I was too stressed up about it. I started my maternity leave slightly earlier because I can’t take the stress at work while I need to work and also keep count on my baby’s movement.

The Day!

The first day I started my maternity leave, I felt contraction in the morning. A very mild pain at my hips area and my husband sent me to the hospital. It was confirmed that it is a real contraction. I clearly remember it was 9.30am.

My gynaecologist broke my water when he saw me and told me it was opening at 3cm. The nurse advised me to take a shower and clean myself, so I did (Yes, I washed my hair). After that, I was asked if I would like to have any epidural injection and without hesitation I said yes because the contraction was getting more painful each time. The anaesthesiologist did the injection around 1.00pm and it of cause immediately numbed my legs and hips. After the injection, I was very relax because the pain went off almost immediately.

The gynaecologist came in to check again but it was still at 3cm. He was a little worried as baby heartbeat slowed down for a little while and it got back to normal. He told the nurse to monitor closely and I was being asked again would I like to consider a C-section. That moment both my husband and me decided not to and stick to natural.

Baby heartbeat slowed down to a dangerous level and luckily I am all ready at the opening of 10cm for delivery. However, due to the heartbeat slowed down, I was asked to signed some document because it is a very dangerous situation. It was all planned to vacuum Baby E out. During the first pushed without even using the vacuum, I heard Baby E crying! But he went back in for some reason and I didn’t know! I thought he was out. I was being asked to push again and the doctor vacuumed his head but failed! Baby E came out in a wrong position, he was facing up.

I was asked to have a last push otherwise very likely Baby E will die inside me. I pushed really hard and the doctor forcep Baby E out!

After delivery

He was purple, crazy purple and full of blood. I was very worried looking at him but I passed out. When I am awake after 2 hours or so, I shivered badly due to the side effect of the epidural. The doctor explained the situation to me and told me he did a Episiotomy before the last push and it might hurt bad after the epidural is over. Yes, it did hurt very badly on the second and third day! Crazily painful!

Did I missed something? Pain during delivery?

If you realised I didn’t mention about pain during delivery. Due to the epidural, I don’t feel any pain at all. Not even a little and I am not lying. You may find the article here on my thought of epidural, it is my honest opinion about it.


I should have choose an emergency C-section when I was informed his heartbeat went down. If the last push didn’t work, I will kill Baby E simply by making the wrong decision. The next time if something like this happened again, C-section without question.

I hope my experience sharing helps some soon to be mama to understand the process a little more. When I was pregnant, I was looking out for articles and stories like this to have a better understanding to avoid sudden panic during delivery.

To all soon to be mommies, good luck!

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